March 7 ~ BE STILL MY HEART

BE STILL MY HEART

March 7 ~ Saturday

Awaken this morning out of a sound sleep, at 4:00 am, by that all to familiar sensation of my heart beating out of my chest...I was experiencing an Afib episode :/ . Usually brought on by stress, it was no huge surprise to me...but no matter how many times I experience one of these episodes my mind and body go into flight mode and I find myself automatically following the same course of action to get myself out of the front door and to the hospital as soon as I can. It is a very scary thing to feel...But with no time to be scared Harold and I just kept going through the routine we had been through so many times before, to get me to the ER as soon as we could.

By 4:30 I was being attended to in the Hospital ER ....One good thing about having my Afibs come on in the early am hours, there is usually not a lot of activity going on in the ER...and I get full attention from the staff on hand.  We learned that acting fast and not waiting, with hopes of it fixing it's self, is worth getting to the ER sooner rather than later.

They just pull me up in their data base and know exactly what to do from my past  visit's there, and start going to work very quickly .... The medicine, Cardizem  converted me immediately but I kept having Atrial flutters :( like feeling ur heart wobble inside ur chest) I hate that feeling worse than the speeding heart rate I think ... But the fast heart rate is actually the most dangerous part of it ... So it's great they can always deal with that part fast! After having a 180 heart rate for almost an hour it zaps you like you had been running on a treadmill. Imagine what you would feel like...... really tired!

It drains me and I always come back home and sleep most of the day! I know God will use this for good, as He uses all things.

The ER doctor said my cardiologist doctor I'm seeing on Monday for Surgery clearance may want to do an ablation on my heart before the surgery... Ugh... Not loving that idea... It is only a one day, out patient procedure..... but REALLY??? Not wanting another thing to think about!!! Hoping that is not in God's plans for me!... But if it is ....than I'm sure it will be a better thing that I have it done.

The pressures on me are mounting and I am weakening under the load... But STILL God's grace remains sufficient for me....I get down and He causes something to pick me up... And His keeping over me is astounding!!! Don't know how long or hard this season in my life will get... But I do know that my God has never failed to comfort me through the winter's of my life!


4:00 pm Saturday Afternoon ~

It's a great afternoon with lots of sun and warmer temps!!!!! And sitting out on the swing this afternoon watching the geese leisurely swim laps around the pond has some how had a calming affect on me.  Thank You Lord for always being present in the day of trouble <3

Psalms 46:1 ~ "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble."

A dear friend sent me this verse today . . .It was perfect timing! (Thank you Bren :)
Lamentation  3: 57 ~ "God came when I called, and he said "Do not fear"


9:00 pm  Saturday Night ~

Feeling much better than when the day started at 4:00 am this morning...I slept most of the day after getting home from the Hospital...which is common after having an AFIB episode,

I think this is what being in the "thick of the things" is all about....

God certainly knows what all of this He keeps allowing in my life is about so I have to be still and let Him be God ......... I was thinking today....It seems God is trying to empty me of me?????  hummmmm... on so many levels....empting me of me....the only thing I can conclude is that when  there is nothing left to me. . .  He will fill me with Himself!  So for that reason I cannot complain.

But I must admit... I'm not loving the purging process..... making this clay pot into something beautiful is a painful undertaking! In it's time... it will all make sense!!!!  Glory be to God. :)

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Thank You all for your prayers again !!! Got to the ER by 4:30 am and by 6:00 am I had converted.... That Cardizem really does the trick!!! Helps put me back in normal rhythm almost immediately... After my heart rate got back down to normal I was still having Atrial Flutter but was discharged ...I got home and slept most of the day (which) is common after a AFib episode. Afib is usually triggered by stress. Was not a surprises that the last couple of days I was feeling some symptoms of it coming on. Please pray for Harold... Poor thing....he is really feeling the weight of my medical conditions. It hurts my heart seeing the worry in his face. Pray for strength for him too


✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom

March 6 ~ GOD'S BEST GIFTS SOMETIMES COME IN SMALL PACKAGES :)

GOD'S BEST GIFTS SOMETIMES COME IN SMALL PACKAGES

March 6 ~ Friday

Not feeling great today. My heart was skipping beats last night... the stress of getting everthing ready for this surgery is starting to mount on me.... I covet the prayers of the faithful intercessors.

Lot's of paper work and doctor visit's scheduled to get medical clearance for the Surgery set on the 24th. I know this is all necessary.... just part of the course. But it is definitely an added weight on anyone trying to emotionally prepare for a surgery. Have to keep reminding myself to take one day at a time!

BUT GOD  . . . sent me the gift of joy through Rory and Dawn today. They came by for a visit and they had little JJ with them.... that really lifted my spirits!!!.... Watching JJ get so excited over Rory catching a fish in the pond was priceless and gave me so much joy, I was able to forget, even though for a moment, about all the troubling things happening around me and I was able to feel the power of life in this little human being. I love this little fella he's so precious and so unassuming of how troubling life can be ....watching him, reminds me that no matter how bad things are. . . . God is still good :) !

One day that little fella will maybe read this and learn of how God used him this day to brighten his Mee Mee's heart <3

Heavenly Father, thank You that Your Word says You know my name and consider me precious. Thank You for speaking that to my soul right now.  I love You, Lord. Guide me in Your ways today and help me to live out Your grace. In Jesus' name, Amen and Amen

Father God, I could never do this without you <3


✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom

March 5 ~ GOD IS ALWAYS TALKING TO US

"Luke 1:19 ~ The angel said to him, "I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news." 

God is always talking to us. Some of the ways He 'talks" to us is through inspiration, events that happen around us, and other's we meet during the day. We just need to learn to "hear" Him with our ears, our eyes, our hearts, and our souls

May I remain open to the many ways He talks to me. May I not always just listen with my ears but with all my senses and my whole being. May I not miss a thing He is trying to tell me!

March 5 ~ COMFORT DOESN'T TAKE THE PAIN AWAY

Contrary to what a lot of people believe (or hope), comfort doesn't take the pain away. 

Comfort slides in besides the pain, pulling up a chair so that we have something more than sorrow in our hearts. 

Comfort gently expands our spirits so that we can breathe again. 

Comforts opens our eyes so that we can see possibilities again. 

And on those days, whether it is the next day or five years removed.....on that day when hopelessness rears it's dark head again, comfort helps us remember that pain is not all there is.


(I Love the Amplified Bible version of this verse)

John 14:26  

But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.



✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom

March 5 ~ GOD'S PROMISES ARE YES....SO BE IT!

Hebrews 6:17-19  ~ "Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."

God has made me a promise. It is having faith that He will fulfill His promise that can keep me moving forward even when everything else tries to hold me back.

Father God, it is my faith in Your promise that sustains me and gives me the strength to press forward no matter what adversity I may face. I trust you!



2 Corinthians 1:20
"For all the promises of God in him are yea (yes), and in him Amen (so be it), unto the glory of God by us."


For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God.



When we focus on God's promises instead of our problems. . . we will notice our thoughts wilL be healthIer and filled with peace.



ღ¸☆´ ¸.✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom

March 4 ~ DOCTOR APPOINTMENT WITH GOD

 March 4 ~ Wednesday


Harold was still too sick to drive us DTR for my Doctor's appointment today....  And going it alone without Him was very difficult for me... It was very hard not having him with me to listen to the doctor explain facts about cancer surgery  and what we could expect. Seems like cancer surgery in itself makes the patient at rsk for blood clots ...with my medical conditons I am at a highten risk for getting them. So now the reality of dealing with cancer is becoming more real and  more pressing on my heart.

How did God provide for the need to get to that doctor appointment?

I was feeling pretty perplexed about should I do.... reschedule it or find some other way to get there???? God had the provision all the time....and provided for me a way to escape the temping fear and confusion I was beginning to feel.....just as He promises us in I Corinthians 10:13 ~ "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."


But God . . .  in His infinite mercy ...  was using this day's circumstances to show me that on this journey I'm going to learn to forsake all to follow Him. ...to let go of everything and every body I have depended and leaned on most of my life....to be able to fully  embrace Him. Jesus demands that our love and our loyalty to Him be greater than any other attachments we may have, including our attachments for our families.

He clearly tells us that we must love Him more than any other.

Luke !4:26-27 ~ "If anyone comes after me Me, and does not hate (the literal translation means to "love less") his own father and mother and wife and children and  brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."

Though our spouses are divinely joined to us and we become one with them .... Our love , trust and devotiion should always be on a higher plane with God.

When first given the cancer diagnosis, I wondered how women who don't have a husband go through the experience alone and more than once I have said, out loud, ...I could not do this without Harold!.... well the truth is those women are not alone.... today neither was I! I wasn't alone in that Doctor's office without Harold today. I felt God's presence with me. He impressed on my heart that I will walk many days of this journey in places where Harold won't be able to follow me....it was good to learn early that I don't have to fear those times, because God will be present and waiting for me before I even get there.

 Jesu said, Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. And  that there is a cost involved in being His disciple. I'm getting so far away from my "Comfort Zone" that sometimes it makes me feel strange......like I'm in new territory I've never tracked before, It's sorta scary and sorta stirring at the same time........but each time the Lord calls me to come out another step closer to trust Him I'm seeing  Him in a grander way and feeling His presence sweeter!

Until Jesus is all we have... we really never understand that He was all we really ever needed!

God also blessed me with  two beautiful people that love Him and possess the gift of "Helps", that we read about in I Corinthians 12:28.  The Holy Spirit  guided them to me to meet my need. In a sense they became "Jesus in skin for me today, and offered to drive me to my doctor's appointment.


What did I need??? Well I needed a way to get to where my Primary Care Physician was back in Louisiana since Harold wasn't able to drive me there and I'm not able to drive myself. But I needed so much more than that. And God knew it . . .  I needed their compassionate hearts and I needed the sweet ministry of the joyful spirit's that live inside them to touch me.  And it didn't hurt that these two are both ER Nurses either! Somehow that just was like the cherry on top of the Sunday. Because of the AFib Episodes that show up at will I've become skittish about being to far away from Harold. Because He knows exactly what to do.

When God provides..... His provisions are grade A :)  I felt safe and secure with them and even stronger after spending time with them...as their words and laughter built up my inner spirit.

Yes again... what the devil tried to use for harm God knew could be used it for good!

Thank You Father God for working on me, to make this lump of clay that one day will be something beautiful and in a greater image of Your Son Jesus Christ. . . . I trust that You make all things beautiful in it's time. . . .Even an ole broken clay pot like me!


ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ ¸.✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom

March 4 ~ LEARNING TO TRUST HIM

March 4 ~ Wednesday

Philippians 2:24  ~ But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.

Anyone who has ever had a serious problem to tend to has had to navigate a countless details.   Much of life is “trusting” that things will come together in God’s time.


The apostle Paul used that language when writing to the Philippians: “I trust I’ll see you soon.” In other words, “I’ve made my desire known to God, and I hope He will release me from arrest in Rome soon so I can visit you in Philippi. But it’s ultimately up to Him.”


“Trust” is another word for “waiting on the Lord.” It may take several weeks for the desired plan to come together; all we can do is wait. And it may take an extended period for God to show us His will about a certain set of circumstances in our life. Again, we have to wait; we have to trust in the Lord with all our heart, lean on Him instead of our own understanding, and wait for Him to direct our path (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Waiting on God is active, not passive.

It involves prayer, counsel, study, patience, and faith. If you, like me, are waiting on God right now, make it a time of trust.



We learn to trust by trusting.




ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ ¸.✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom