March 7 ~ Saturday
Awaken this morning out of a sound sleep, at 4:00 am, by that all to familiar sensation of my heart beating out of my chest...I was experiencing an Afib episode :/ . Usually brought on by stress, it was no huge surprise to me...but no matter how many times I experience one of these episodes my mind and body go into flight mode and I find myself automatically following the same course of action to get myself out of the front door and to the hospital as soon as I can. It is a very scary thing to feel...But with no time to be scared Harold and I just kept going through the routine we had been through so many times before, to get me to the ER as soon as we could.
By 4:30 I was being attended to in the Hospital ER ....One good thing about having my Afibs come on in the early am hours, there is usually not a lot of activity going on in the ER...and I get full attention from the staff on hand. We learned that acting fast and not waiting, with hopes of it fixing it's self, is worth getting to the ER sooner rather than later.
They just pull me up in their data base and know exactly what to do from my past visit's there, and start going to work very quickly .... The medicine, Cardizem converted me immediately but I kept having Atrial flutters :( like feeling ur heart wobble inside ur chest) I hate that feeling worse than the speeding heart rate I think ... But the fast heart rate is actually the most dangerous part of it ... So it's great they can always deal with that part fast! After having a 180 heart rate for almost an hour it zaps you like you had been running on a treadmill. Imagine what you would feel like...... really tired!
It drains me and I always come back home and sleep most of the day! I know God will use this for good, as He uses all things.
The ER doctor said my cardiologist doctor I'm seeing on Monday for Surgery clearance may want to do an ablation on my heart before the surgery... Ugh... Not loving that idea... It is only a one day, out patient procedure..... but REALLY??? Not wanting another thing to think about!!! Hoping that is not in God's plans for me!... But if it is ....than I'm sure it will be a better thing that I have it done.
The pressures on me are mounting and I am weakening under the load... But STILL God's grace remains sufficient for me....I get down and He causes something to pick me up... And His keeping over me is astounding!!! Don't know how long or hard this season in my life will get... But I do know that my God has never failed to comfort me through the winter's of my life!
4:00 pm Saturday Afternoon ~
It's a great afternoon with lots of sun and warmer temps!!!!! And sitting out on the swing this afternoon watching the geese leisurely swim laps around the pond has some how had a calming affect on me. Thank You Lord for always being present in the day of trouble <3
Psalms 46:1 ~ "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble."
A dear friend sent me this verse today . . .It was perfect timing! (Thank you Bren :)
Lamentation 3: 57 ~ "God came when I called, and he said "Do not fear"
9:00 pm Saturday Night ~
Feeling much better than when the day started at 4:00 am this morning...I slept most of the day after getting home from the Hospital...which is common after having an AFIB episode,
I think this is what being in the "thick of the things" is all about....
God certainly knows what all of this He keeps allowing in my life is about so I have to be still and let Him be God ......... I was thinking today....It seems God is trying to empty me of me????? hummmmm... on so many levels....empting me of me....the only thing I can conclude is that when there is nothing left to me. . . He will fill me with Himself! So for that reason I cannot complain.
But I must admit... I'm not loving the purging process..... making this clay pot into something beautiful is a painful undertaking! In it's time... it will all make sense!!!! Glory be to God. :)
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Thank You all for your prayers again !!! Got to the ER by 4:30 am and by 6:00 am I had converted.... That Cardizem really does the trick!!! Helps put me back in normal rhythm almost immediately... After my heart rate got back down to normal I was still having Atrial Flutter but was discharged ...I got home and slept most of the day (which) is common after a AFib episode. Afib is usually triggered by stress. Was not a surprises that the last couple of days I was feeling some symptoms of it coming on. Please pray for Harold... Poor thing....he is really feeling the weight of my medical conditions. It hurts my heart seeing the worry in his face. Pray for strength for him too
✿´´¯`•.¸¸. ི♥ྀ.ƸӜƷ˜”*°•.•.¸ღ¸☆´ Shalom
