In a few hours we will be at the LA Heart Hospital in Lacombe for an Angiogram to check out a blockage that was found in last weeks Nuclear Stress Test. If the blockage is 50% or more the Doctor will put in a stint. . . . If a stint is inserted that will mean the cancer surgery scheduled for the 24th will be postponed. At first I was upset about finding out I had a blockage that required this extra medical attention on the heels of my Pre-op at Turro that is scheduled for tomorrow, March 18.
So a lot hinges on tomorrow's findings when the Heart Cath is done. But very rarely do I understand God's ways . . . Or at least not often until after the fact. But He has my life perfectly planned out. Certainly finding this blockage was a blessing. And perhaps it is God's will to delay the surgery for a reason. Tomorrow will tell us the answers to a lot of things that are uncertain right now.
Today was a very busy day.... I got all my house cleaned ...got all the laundry done....went out to the Bank and Post Office ....We had dinner while we were out ... and tonight I was even able to give CoCo a bath...it was a productive day.
But this afternoon a felt a spirit on heaviness come over me as I was relaxing on the patio, after we got home from running our errands.
Too many thoughts were racing through my mind and I really felt another "Bam" moment when I realized I have cancer.... this is the 3rd time that it hit me out of the blue and it pulls the rug out from under my feet. . . . . And I cried out to God...."A blockage too????" . . . "Father, I don't know if I can do this...and the cancer too?"
But God. . . . began to embrace me.... and that's when my Daily Devotional really ministered to me.
He reminded me I can nothing apart from him. . . . why would I think this would be somehow harder....it's about surrender. It's about letting go of control and letting God use this weaken vessel and to somehow bring Him glory through the process.
This is the verse the Holy Spirit brought to my mind:
Isaiah 61:3 ~ To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”
He wants us to be able to get to the place where we can praise him in storm. . . . Not only when the threat is over...and the dark clouds have passed. So I opened my worship and praise playlist on my phone and started listing to a song I downloaded after hearing it this morning on the radio..... It's called "I AM NOT ALONE" by Kari Jobe. And immediately my spirit was lifted.
I AM NOT ALONE
When I walk through deep waters
I know that you will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
Oh I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see your light is breaking through
The dark night will not over take me
I am pressing into you
Lord you fight my every battle
And I will not fear
You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as your own
You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You have always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul
The Word in Isaiah 61:3, says put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. The implication is that we have to do something . . . we have to open our mouths and Praise Him out loud.
A conscious choice to Praise Him.... makes all of the darkness surrounding us back away! Glory to God!
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Harold and I made a conscious decision 2 years ago that hurry and stress were no longer going to be part of my lives.
Stress is self-created; we decided to stop manufacturing it.
We can choose an internal calm and joy even amid the chaos of the world around us!
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March 17th ~ 7:30 am
Ok here we go! On our way to the Heart Hospital... One step at a time... One step at a time.... Wow the difference a refreshed, sunny morning makes! Feeling calm and ready!... Following You Father God!
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3:30 pm
3:30 pm
Big Thumbs Up on the Angio Results!!! No Blockages!!! The surgery can go on as scheduled!!!!
